my life so far

hmm…its been a long time since i last posted on this blog…anyway…i recently got hooked again with the chatting world…i got to reconnect with my friends and family whom are not globe users…sorry…i dont really text that much to “smart-users”…anywho…i got the chance to talk with chain and jen…whom i so miss coz we haven’t seen each other for months already …there were talks on the updates regarding the happenings in our lives…also..i got the chance to talk with jose…yes…”the JOSE” hehe…i was quite surprised that he would even talk to me…our messages in friendster are more on the hi’s, hello’s and whats up?..well this type of conversation was still the same…i just remembered how eager i was when we would talk about stuff and even argue on certain topics whether it be politics, religion and life itself…i miss those days…but again we lost interest in them…i realized that we can always say that we’re friends and be civil with each but still the treatment will not be the same as before…to all my friends…i am not bitter…in fact i’m more normal that ever…hehe…coz i’ve seen some maturity in me…to accept the things that i cant change about myself…that i cant always please people…one way or another someone will bite your head off…hehe… i wish i can be this more open minded when i put my words into actions…i am happy for him really…i just wish that i find whatever it is that i am looking for…anywho….i am ok with what i’ve got now…i just missed again and its the seond time..maybe the next time i wont be writing about it anymore…and you would see it more in my albums…teehee!!! i’m still waiting for my peter pan…..:)

Six months have past and i haven’t done any blogging…must have been really busy…or must have been saturated…nah…i dont think so…i guess…there comes a point in your life when you just don’t want to share any of the happenings with other people…not that you dont want them involved or anything…you just want to keep silent and be done with everything with just yourself…im not goin’ into any suicide attempts…totoo!!!hehe…i guess i’m maturing na….naks…hehe…thats what "mature" people do…they tend not to share things thats been happening to others not unless they’re their family or friends…they draw borderlines for whatever they have to share…afraid of whatever other people would think of them when they began to pour their hearts out…such tragic scene that we can’t express ourselves by not being judged…hay ewan….i’m at a point in my life where i want to share a lot of things with other people yet i’m too afraid of being judged…i dont know…i’m 22 years old…i should know what to do…**sigh**i must have a problem…..HELP!!!!!!!

kung sana inagahan mo ung pag-aya mo eh di ikaw ung inuna ko…

bad trip ka tlga….

ang engs mo khit kelan….

kung nagparamdam ka ng maayos eh di sana ikaw kasama ko kanina at hindi siya…

lakilaki mo na para malaman un noh…

kung matino ka sana naging kausap eh di sana ok tayo ngayon…

ang labo mo tlga…

kung hindi rin nmn ako engs eh di sana inuna na din kita…echos!

basta bitter ako ngayong araw na to….

daming flowers…daming color red…masyadong nakaka-overwhelm ang mga vibes ng tao…di ko kinaya…

pacencya na…bitter tlga ako ngayon….hay….

sayang…

just got out of the hospital this afternoon…yes..in as much as i really don’t want to go to a hospital i did…i had a freaking headache plus this vertigo thing were whenever i would move its as the whole floor im standing on is also moving…that really sucks big time…my mom and dad weren’t even here in manila…thankfully my grandaunt was with me and ready to go to the hospital…as i was about to leave i started to feel as if im going to throw up and i did…finally…went to st. lukes had myself "observed" by the residents…i couldn’t spend the night at home feeling like the world has crashed itself into me…and so i asked the doctor if i could stay for the night…they actually allowed me to do so…astig! cute pa ung nurse ko promise! they said it was this vertigo thing not much of an emergency but still quite dangerous in some cases not in mine though…i got a room at 12 midnight…plus i got an IV…didn’t know that i would get one…its been a while since i last had one…i just didn’t look when that syringe or needle was about to enter my vein…im really weak when it comes to blood…sunday came and i got to rest the whole day….ate a lot of things…hehehe…lakas ko kumain…my dad even said that the reason i wanted to be admitted was just for me to have some good food…hehehe…partly i guess…plus the cute nurse…and cute tlga promise…chinito and moreno…kulang nga lang sa height…hehehe…ano beh louise!!!pero promise…i wasn’t really feeling good that night…sobra!!!hay..well…it looks that im all good again…nakakapagblog na nga ako eh…malamang…hehehe…well…funny thing was dame pla concerned…thanx for the texts and calls…smooches and hugs to u all…ciao!!! 

[THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without)]: family, friends, cellfone and alcohol…im an o.c. sorry….

[Something important on your desk]: cell phone….

When you sleep you wear: pj’s

[If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy]: a lime green beetle…

MORALS

[If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to]: coffee…but still im addicted to it…forget the side effects…lol….

[A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally]: back in college when i snobbed someone…though he is still good to me until now….

[A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally]: first year college…but i forgot what it was all about….

[One person you have killed in your thoughts]: nada….

FRIENDS:

[Three traits you look for in a friend]: have a sense of humor…god fearing and loyal….

[Who makes you laugh most often]: pillar..i really miss her…

[A friend who you can tell anything]: patch and jenny…

[A friend you can go to for advice]: jenny….

[The best piece of advice you had been given]: do whatever makes you happy but use some sense…

[The friend who uses most of your energy]: i dont know…

EGO

[Your 3 best qualities]: makulet,loyal and good listener….

[Your 3 worst qualities]: i have a short attention span…really…im a procrastinator…i dwell on the negative side effects of things…

[A compliment that makes you blush]: i dont know

[The greatest physical pain you ever endured]: my freakin’ allergies…argh!!!

[The greatest emotional pain you ever endured]: falling in love alone…

[Moment you are most ashamed of]: nada…

[Your best physical feature]: my height???lol…

[Who/What makes you happy]: my friends and ***** hahaha…

[Who/what makes you sad]: nasty people….makes me think the world really has gone really bad….

EMOTIONS

[Emotion you hide most]: sadness…

[The emotion you tend to experience most]: frustration….

[When you are angry you need]: to sleep…yup…thats all it takes….

[When you are sentimental you need]: to sleep again…

[When you are in love you need]: affection….

MEMORIES

[One of your most peaceful memories]: right before christmas last year…was with my friends all night and nothing went wrong…we had the best time ever….

[One of your most tragic memories]: family deaths….dont really like that…

One of your angriest memories]: rather personal i cant tell….ask me if you want to know….

[A memory that makes you laugh]: a lot in my college days….

[A memory that makes you happy]: when i wake up every saturday morning and seeing my dad and hugging him….

LOVE

[Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive]: show their intelligence and sense of humor….

[something someone can say or do that you find unattractive]: smoke and act like rabbit in heat…

[Two things appealing about people]: being communicative and friendly for some….

[A personality trait you find appealing]: god fearing…

[Your secret passion]: observing people…

[What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship]: the company of the other person and the understanding that binds the two of you together..

———————————————————————————————–

a n g e r section.
do you have a quick temper?: i guess i do…
what do you do when you’re mad?: just have a big sigh and go back with what im doing…

what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: i threw a pillow at my bedroom door….

if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: nah…no one was hurt…i just got to release the tension…

ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: yup…

ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: yup…my brother when we were kids…

do you curse when you’re mad?: sometimes…

c r y i n g section.
when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: hmm…five or six months ago….
ever cried yourself to sleep?: yes…
ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: yep….
ever cried over the opposite sex?: yup…
do you cry when you get an injury?: no…not until i see some blood gushing…
do certain songs make you cry? which ones: nope…
can you make yourself cry?: nah…

p a i n section.
what’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through?: im just starting with my life…i dont think i’ve encountered anything worth that category yet…

what’s the worst thing you’ve done to yourself?: nothing…
what’s the worst thing you’ve done to somebody else?: belittled someone…
ever had a painful break up?: yup…
what about the old ‘pain for pleasure’?: i dont know what this means…
how depressed can you get?: really depressed as in i gain weight…lol…
do you inflict pain on yourself?: no…

h a p p y section.
are you normally a happy person?: i try to be….
what can make you happy?: family and friends….
do you wish you were happier?: yep…sometimes…but its all good now…
what makes you the happiest?: my friends…
is being happy overrated?: no…
what about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: yup…
can music make you happy?: all the time…lol…

l o v e section.
how many times have you had your heart broken?: three times…
do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: something will always be there…but not as strong as before…
have you ever loved someone so much, that you’d die for them?:hell no…
did you ever love a girl/guy, tell them that, and only got ‘thanks’ as a reply?: lol…yes…
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: yup…
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said ‘i love you’ to you?: yes…
ever stopped a relationship because they didn’t say ‘i love you’?: no…

h a t e section.
who do you actually hate?: plastics…stupid people…rumor mongerers…
ever made a hit list?: nope…
have you ever been on a hit list?: not that i know of…
are you a mean bully?: i’ld like to think that im not…lol…
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: no…
do you hate George Bush?: on somethings….yeah….
George Bush is so overrated…: whats that???how do you go about this one???lol…

s e l f - e s t e e m section.
is your self-esteem extremely low?: not much….just enough….lol….
do you believe in yourself?: sometimes….
when people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: usually…
are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?: haha yahh… exclude the dumb part though…
ever wanted to kill yourself because you thought you weren’t good enough?: no…i would never think of doing that….
are you happy with who you are?: yup
do you wish you can be someone else?: sometimes…

i mean for my life right now…i guess at least for some time people would lead a life like that…im a freakin’ creature of habit as you all well know but as far as things are going…im freakin’ getting bored and been seriously thinking that my life is best described by just two words…two small words people…mediocre and pathetic… not that mediocrity is not good…but look…im young…im suppose to be having the time of my life right…i just finished college and life has lots to offer for me…everything should be an adventure…is it just me having problems???or am i taking all this too seriously???i guess living in the pace of a college kid is too fast when you’re in a grown-up world…ooopps…again i forgot im a grown-up too….how many times do i have to tell that to myself???grrr….am i still in denial…*sigh* i dont know if being an adult or a grown-up makes you boring or is it just me??? are we all facing this kind dilemma???well…things couldn’t be changed….i chose this kind of life and i have to live with it day by day…not that i regret my decision but this was what God gave me…and i have to be thankful for it…i just have to vent it all out at least with this kind of medium…i guess when i’m writing about things that’s been stocking up inside me i begin to relax and become rejuvenated…ano to spa???…at least it has a good effect on me….hehehe….plus it improves my vocabulary…naks…seriously…that was my first goal when i had this blog account to basically improve and master the english grammar..i just dont know if im improving or simply just the same as my previous blog entries…hopefully it would be the former…hehehe…anyway…my topic’s again been kind of "sabog"….guess….im not such a good story teller…*sigh*

hope everythings good for you all…

take care…

ciao!!!

xoxo

got a super tiring day…kelan ba nmn hindi….my work’s pretty tiring…everyday’s an adventure…you’ll never know what’s gonna happen next…mashort ka ba or maover…i guess for finance or any commerce student would know about this…or anyone nga nmn…alam ng lahat un…anyway…i got my first 200 or should i say i was short by 1 transaction today sayang pero achievement pa rin un…i got my first 199 transaction today…astig…im improving…i’ve been trying really hard to perfect my work…well..they say our work really does not require to perfect but still i try to do better…kc nman po…i want to prove that im really worthy of that position…i really am serious now about my work…dati i was kinda careless…but now i’m more focused on what i do…totoo!!!galing nga eh…anyway…about my predicament about some stuff thats been worrying me…well…lets just say that i decided to forget about it…not really forget but to let things come their way…hala hala…parang narinig ko na un…actually it’s on my previous blog entry i dont when was it….basta i mentioned it already…

for the past few days…napapansin ko ata na medyo late na ako umuwi…di nmn ako overtime…pero ayos pa rin ko i learn some stuff about the branch…at least little by little im learning hindi ung kelangan biglaan alam mo na lahat di ba???hmmm….i had my 2nd monthsary last june 3..wiiiii!!!!can’t believe its been two months since i started working…4 months na lang….yikes!!!! katakot na tuloy….lets just hope for the best…sana mapermanent na kami ni jinky…

hanep ang buhay tlga….di ko pa ulit nakikita ung crush ko na client (kamukha nya kc c **** hulaan nyo…hehehe…)…mag 1 week na…khit nung birthday ko di man lang nagpakita….hay….sana bumisita man lang cya noh this week….wla lang…na miss ko lang ang face ng lolo nyo….hehehe….he’s taken kaya hanggang tingin n lang po ang lola nyo…:-)

got to sleep na…maaga pa bukas…take care and god bless everyone…ciao!!!

my transcript of records have not been released yet…why???coz i haven’t got the time to edit my thesis and have it bookbind…i super need it pa naman…so here i am working my ass off re-typing my thesis and hopefully by friday i would be able to submit it and finally get my tor…ay sus!

im waiting for my mom to come home…i need to buy some new shoes for work…been working for two months now and i think i need a new pair…and some clothes too…have to go shopping…weee!!!!hopefully i would buy things within my budget or else im dead meat…my savings are pretty low right now…in short im broke…*sigh*i need my next paycheck fast…just kidding….lol…

i got some great news from my old friends way back in high school namely jamie and johann…ayos!!!…got a few messages from these guys and im pretty happy to hear things from them since they were the best guy buds i had in high school…its nice rekindling old friendships…brings back good and  bad memories but mostly good nmn…

got to talk with my officemate about certain stuff in the office…well…surprise surprise…we do have the sentiments…we need someone to talk to…fast…ahmm….sir phat are you free this week???come visit us nmn…miss ka nmin….

i miss some people terribly….hmmm…that would be pillar, shan and ella…i haven’t seen you for how many months already…have you guys gone into hiding???magparamdam nmn…piso lang ang pagpaparamdam….hehehe…joke!!

hmmm…..enough said…gotta get back to work…

ciao!!!!

love writing these past few days….really….guess im not so tired after all…lol…

ciao!!!!

xoxo

maybe i just got my monthly syndrome called pms as many would call it…i feel so lame and unproductive for the rest of the day…been slacking off from work and i dont know why…is it because that i am so used to my routinary work that i just forget my drive to work better…i guess…when the kind of work that u have is kind of routinary well not really kind of but really routinary you begin to get bored…well not really bored my mind’s just been too stagnant again and got nothing else to do….my goodness i have no consistency with my statements….grrr…..i know i have to work pretty hard to prove my worth and that i deserve to stay at my workplace but things are getting pretty messy…i just don’t know…i’m a bit confused…i’ve never been with people who talked really bluntly about certain people i mean talking about people behind their backs…i would not be a hypocrite and tell that i’ve never been like that but to tell you honestly…i guess i have more caution when it comes to those things…now i begin to think that the people that i work with talk behind my back and say some stuff that would really hurt my feelings…its sad to realize how such small things can grow into such big of a thing for many…maybe grownups are really like that…oh i forgot i’m a grownup already….maybe my perception again of the world is too superficial….i dont know…maybe there’s really something wrong with me or maybe just maybe people forget that they become mean at times….

on a lighter side of things….i feel so tired….whats with the f*cking statement…again irony is the best policy….grrr….i ahve too many things to do with so little time…time flies so fast that i begin to forget….not really forget but heal is a more appropriate word…at times im still hurting and then i realize i’ve got nowhere to go if i keep on holding on….it’s over and done with….no matter how  hard  i try to think of what my mistakes were or my immaturity has got me into it has proven something within me….naks…serious mode tayo ngaun mga lola’s and lolo’s….lol….seriously….a certain guy has created an impact into my life for the past 8 months…i dont have to give the details but just so you know he made me realize some things….i dont want again to tell you in detail…basta sakin na lang un….mala-life changing experience ba??? echos!!!! basta alam na nya un….he made me realize that i really have to take life seriously….i’m such a happy-go-lucky kid as many of you would know by now….but then i met this guy and things changed ewan basta…matanda na daw ako eh kaya ganun… cguro alam nyo na rin un…matatanda na kau eh…hehehe…nainlove ba ako??? ewan ko…marahil oo marahil ito ay tinatawag na infatuation but more likely  nainlove daw ako may daw pa…cge na nga aminin na nain-love na po…i know for myself what i ahve been really feeling for this guy but then again things are quite peculiar for the both of us….di ko na din sabihin…di nyo rin nmn maintindihan…if you ask me do i still love him??? hmm….without any hesitation i would say yes its not that easy to forget and to stop loving someone…sabi nga nila depende na lang daw un sa tao..its easy to forget when you keep yourself pre-occupied but what happens after all those things are done…whats left for you to do???wallow??? not really…there maybe times that you would get to reminisce and think of the happy days…and begin to learn the word "acceptance"… if you still can’t do that don’t push yourself into taking it all in…all it needs is time….di mo kelangan madaliin….di mo rin dapat patagalin….hayaan mo na lang na ang panahon ang makapagpagaling sayo…my goodness….am i still talking to the reader or myself??? nagbigay ba daw ng advice sa sarili…ewan basta….im tired….im off….im gonna be back tomorrow….ciao! and gud night….mwahugs everyone….i still do think of that certain someone…i just have to write that…. :*

my brother and i went to gateway mall to get my mom’s eyeglasses that she bought friday night…as to my brother’s request we took the cab to get there…ay sus! talk about the new attitude of our ever so galant (sarcastic mode) taxi drivers….our fare reached the price of P40 (mura pa nga di ba?) see how near we are from the mall…so anyway…i paid the driver P50 and waited for the driver to give me my change…but wait…he just seated there and waited for us to get off and said "ms. ok na po…" i asked for my change but it seems that he thought that P10 extra was his tip….really now…i really don’t mind giving tips and all but just to decide for yourself that i’m going to give that tip is uber unacceptable….i know its just P10 but hello…it would have been nice if he handed it over to me and let me decide whether or not i should give him his tip….hay…people tlaga are too assuming…kainis…i know it sounds petty…wait til you hear my next story…after we did our rounds at the mall on our way back my bro again asked if we could ride a cab…i told him no…because of the previous incident but we did ride one anyway…hay….again…i gave the driver my friendliest and most polite attitude but then again when we got to our house where he’s suppose to drop us off the same thing happened…hay…i was so pissed that i said some awful things…anyway…a reminder for all the taxi drivers if ever someone comes across this one…maybe you should have a least a can full of coins or if not some small bills that would really help you when giving the customers change…its not the job of the customers to find/give the exact amount of fare….tips are given if the customer was uberly satisfied you need not assume that everyone of your customers will give you a tip…that’s why its called a tip…its an extra pay for something or the services rendered…

another incident happened to one of my friends yesterday…she was going to greenbelt 3 and the cab driver wanted to be paid P350…from qc to makati…i dont think that the ride would really cost that much…at 10:30 in the evening???there’s even no traffic…as soon as my friend found out the price she was on her way out but the driver was saying stuff at her like he was on a line and that they just cant leave like that…buti na lang tlga…my friend found a new cab which gave a more considerable fare…i know these people do this thing to make a living…i know some of them are really working very hard to find passengers…and the ones who get lucky to have them should not really abuse or even violate the law…thats why the government mandated a "meter" for the fare…so that no ones fooling anyone….hay…people tlga…i beleive that there still few good taxi drivers out there..but really they’re hard to find….

good luck to all cab riders….

hopefully the government could create a good and effective system for them…so that di nila tau gingago…hay…wish ko lang meron nga nun….